Residence: Who is at the center of your home?

Much of my business consulting and coaching has been focused on making businesses run more efficiently, improving teams, making processes more streamlined, increasing performance, etc. But this week, I received a different request. It was, “My family is a mess. Help me make it better. I have been so focused on growing the business, building net worth, and accumulating assets that I have totally lost track of my family. When I do spend time with them, I feel like a total stranger.”

I started asking him, "Do you think that this is all that uncommon in today’s world?" He said, "No, we live in a busy world that is only accelerating." Then I asked, "Where is God in your world?" He said, "I have lost touch, I don’t go to church anymore, I dropped out of my men’s group, and I don’t read my Bible at all like I used to." Then I asked, "How much quality time do you spend with your family?" He said, "As much as I can. I try to get to concerts and games and school conferences, but my schedule makes it tough." This is not an unusual scenario in today’s world. And just in the world around us we can see families breaking up and marriages destroyed.

And possibly worse than this thought is the thought of what happens to our civilization as we know it if the family falls apart? I would make the point that it is not only critical to truly be successful in business, but it is also crucial for our civilization.

In a book titled, “The Nucleus of Civilization” John Mac Arthur wrote, “It is no mere accident of history that family relationships have always been the very nucleus of all human civilization. According to scripture, that is precisely the way that God designed it to be. And therefore, if the family crumbles as an institution, all of civilization will ultimately crumble along with it.”

What struck me was that I had just spent the entire weekend enjoying my family out of state. A band concert on Thursday evening, a first-grade grandparents’ day at school and a chorus concert on Friday, five baseball games on Saturday and Sunday, and a dance recital. But the part that struck me was that we had wonderful conversations with each of the kids before and after their respective activities. And I could feel the presence of God in my heart as I watched them perform.

As John Mac Arthur said, God created the family. He created Adam and Eve, put them together and after that He placed humans in families, and marriages. But it seems that Satan took offense to this and immediately started attacking marriages. Further, he has been doing it ever since. But God is stronger than Satan. Love is stronger than conflict. God loves to be included in our homes, and He expects to be the center of the household. He expects to fill our homes and hearts.

So, my conversation with my client continued. I told him that to build a successful family, he needed to place God at the head of the home. If not, all his work on his family and home will be in vain. And to have God head his home, he needs to place Him as the head of his life. But the hardest part is that only when we love God more than anything else, including our family, can we have our family in the highest and purest form. I used a story to illustrate this for him.

There was a famous missionary named Greg Livingstone, Sadly, when he passed away, he had never known his biological Father. Nor was his stepfather in his life. He was raised in foster homes. He wrote a book titled “You’ve Got Libya” and in that book he wrote, “When I acknowledged Jesus in my life, Jesus seemed to take up residence in me. I had finally been adopted by a father who would stick with me.”

There are times in our lives when all of us feel lonely, especially when there are struggles with our earthly families. Or when our lives are totally focused on success, fame, fortune, wealth or some other idol. But Jesus is called Immanuel (God with us) for a reason. He is accessible to us wherever we go. He has adopted us into our family. He loves us constantly and outrageously.

I asked my client a bold question: "What is your relationship with God?" He answered, “Not a good one." I told him about a business networking event at my church that Friday and asked him if he would like to be my guest. He said yes and came with me.

I also told him that I am convinced that many of us today are lacking human companionship. We are being isolated by technology, social media, work from home (or in his case, in remote locations), by worship at home; you name it. But even when we are lacking fellowship with others, we have God if we look to Him. God never leaves our side; it is us who wander off.

So, I have learned to take time outs. I told him that he needs to take time outs during his workday. A time out is to slow down to look at the sky, the tress, the lake outside of his office window. To watch the sun, rise or set at home. It might be to notice unique clouds in the sky as he drives to an appointment. It might be a chat with a friend or petting his dog. It might be taking time off of his work to go to his children’s activities or just sit with them and talk. Or it might just be to smile at someone or give them a compliment. Or it might be to read a few pages from a good book (perhaps the Bible?) He said, "OK I get It. I need time outs from my hectic schedule."

But I said, "Well, not quite. You need time outs to reflect, thank God, and enjoy companionship with God. That’s when you will find him at the center of your life. And when you find Him there, you will also find your family."

As Greg Livingston said, God will take up residence in you.