Legacy: What are you hoping to leave behind for this world?

Last week, I worked with one of my most successful clients. From the outside looking in, I am sure that others are envious of them. He has several very successful businesses. He has several homes around the world. He has a collection of automobiles. He has a huge portfolio of investments. He has a beautiful, loving family. So, what, you ask, could I do for him? What was his question?

He told me, "I just feel empty; I don't know what I am striving for anymore."

Then he asked me what my legacy was. I find it fascinating that I hear top executives asking me this same question frequently. Some of them spend a lifetime chasing wealth, success, fame, respect, etc. and they never quite get there. Because even when they get there, they continue to strive for more. Something happened in my personal life recently that brought this back into perspective for me.

My brother-in-law recently passed away at age 92. The celebration of life ceremony at his church was packed—which I would say is very unusual for a person of that age. From this story, you may recognize who I am writing about because he left such a remarkable legacy. My sister and her family are comfortable with that, but here I will call him Al.

He was the oldest of two children. At birth, his father nicknamed him Pinky because of his rosy skin, and the name stayed with him for life. Although some children might have been teased for a nickname like that, he never let it bother him. His father was an alcoholic who left when he was very young, so he became the man of the house far too soon. Even so, he did all he could to support his loving mother and baby sister. Who does that?

His mother had to support herself and her children and she did that very well, but she needed Al to grow up quickly and become very self-supporting as well as watch over his baby sister. Who does that?

He attended school, stayed out of trouble and focused on his family. When children get abandoned by a father how many of them turn out to be model citizens? But a model citizen he was. While he was in high school, he was afraid he would get in with the wrong crowd and get in trouble, so he enlisted in the Navy and went to the Korean War. Who does that?

He met my sister in that time frame; they fell in love and he married her despite my parents' objections. My father thought that Al would not amount to anything because of his family background. But succeed he did! He got his GED while in the Navy. He came back from the war and went to work in law enforcement. He did not meet the height or weight requirements at the time so he wore elevator insoles in his shoes and ate a calorie rich diet to gain weight. Who does that?

He received several degrees from various law enforcement colleges and had a tremendous thirst for knowledge in his field. So much so that he would spend 15 years of his 36-year career teaching in the law enforcement academy. Who Does that?

He had three children and was an extremely involved and loving father, a devoted husband and a surrogate father to me because my own father was so distant on many occasions. He counseled me and watched out for me like a father even though he was married to my sister. Who does that?

Early in his career he would work other jobs so that his family could be well provided for. One of these jobs was driving a truck to a city five hours away and back on a weekend to deliver products for a food manufacturer. Who does that?

He counseled many of his law enforcement students over the years and helped them move up the ranks. So many that the church was packed for his celebration of life—with family, friends and fellow officers. Who leaves that kind of legacy?

At his celebration, his son said, “When you went to dad for advice, you better take lunch.” I laughed because I certainly experienced that many times as I sought his wisdom.

In the last few years, he has had two hip surgeries and a hernia surgery in a two-year span, and numerous kidney stones; he still didn’t miss a beat. He was mobile and active—supporting family and friends. Who does that?

He lost his oldest son in an unexpected death two years ago and maintained his faith in God and supported my sister and the entire family through the grief process. Who does that?

In all, he had three children, seven grandchildren and fourteen great-grandchildren and spouses of children and grandchildren and found time to spend meaningful time with each of them. He graciously shared his wisdom while providing a very attentive listening ear. Who does that?

He suffered recently from late-stage lung cancer but never lost his faith—in fact, his faith got stronger. One of the pastors of his church, who had previously openly stated that he does not make home visits, visited three times .He said that the other pastors could do that because they were better at it. But he told my sister that he had only made these three visits during his entire tenure at that church. Why is that?

Who does all this? Only a man that tries to make life better for all of those around him. A man full of grace and understanding. A man full of wisdom. A man who loves others as himself and loves them unconditionally and without judgement. A man who loved God with all his heart, mind and soul. A man who left a legacy.