Joseph: Setting an Example of Love

As I consult and coach executives, I see an issue that I wish was not so common. But it is! The issue is not being able to forget, move on and act like it never happened. Instead, I see people dwelling on what happened to them. It carries over into their current work environment, and they can't figure out what is wrong. Bizarre?

One of my favorite stories in scripture is about Joseph. His brothers threw him in a cistern. Then he was sold into slavery. Eventually, he became a key leader in Egypt. How unlikely is this story that a man would go from slave to prisoner to prime minister? In my opinion, only God could create such a path for Joseph.

Occasionally we see in the news a public figure making an apology for a misdeed of words or actions. But more often, it seems, we see that person trying to justify their words or actions. Even when there is an apology it is sometimes hard to tell whether the apology is genuine or just a response to having been found out. While it is not our place to judge the sincerity of an apology, scripture speaks of “godly sorrow” that produces genuine repentance. It says, "For godly sorrow that is in accord with the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation.”

Josephs brothers had lived for decades with guilty consciences over selling Joseph into slavery and then lying to his father about his fate. They obviously thought that Joseph had perished in Egypt.

When they discovered that he was the second most powerful leader in the land, imagine how shocked they were. Also imagine how ashamed and embarrassed they would be in Joseph’s presence. When Joseph revealed himself to them, they had a tearful reunion. Scripture says, “After that his brothers talked with him." That must have been a conversation filled with confession, repentance and forgiveness. And forgiveness was granted by Joseph. Scripture then says, "Moreover, Joseph kissed all his brothers and wept over them, and after that his brothers talked with him.”

So, what is the bottom line here?

Scripture says, "Put on then, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another, and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as God has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. And above all this put-on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." If Joseph had not put on love, what would have happened in this story?

There is an old proverb that says, "Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.’” Unfortunately, I see it all too often in today’s world. Instead of covering an offense with love, people lash out with hate which they call love and truth. And it happens all too often these days. Actually, I have seen it totally destroy the corporate culture.

The result is incredibly destructive. And the people involved seem to be destroying their own relationships with others—one after another after another. They can forgive maybe, but they cannot forget. I start by asking them some questions. Why haven’t you forgotten your home address or your phone number. Why haven’t you forgotten most of the things that have happened in your life? We remember those things that we think about often and forget those things that we ignore.

Joseph could have been a bitter man, especially with his brothers. But when they were reunited, he not only forgave them, but he also acted like nothing had ever happened. That is the evidence of forgiving and forgetting—acting as if the harm never occurred. When it came time to bring his family from Canaan to Egypt, he did everything he possibly could and, in the process, he treated his brothers as if they had never done anything bad toward him.

We may never forget an injury done to us, but if we are truly forgiving, we will act as if it never occurred. I do not believe that God wants us to remember what HE is willing to forget.

And here is my suggestion. Love others—TRULY love them. This means forgiving, forgetting and acting as if it never happened. There may be a time to express your fear, anger, hurt, or confusion, but then move on. So, you say—I am just speaking the truth because I love my neighbor as myself. I tend to believe that Joseph is the example that we must follow if we truly want to love others as ourselves and forgive others. And look at how Joseph made it through some unbelievable circumstances. If only we could do the same, how far would we be able to go?

What are your thoughts?