Less is More: How to Get Your Life Back

Wow, I have been doing some public speaking which has given me the opportunity to see what others are speaking about. As I do my keynote in these major resort areas, I actually have the opportunity to hear others give theirs. Recently, I listened to one that talked about time blocking, priority management strategies, and margin-building habits (basically steps that you might take). I have listened to several of these keynotes now—it is certainly a trend. But why? They proposed this as a solution to stress at the leadership level, but they added a new one which they simply called: Focus.

Last month my coaching client wanted to talk about techniques to reduce stress. He told me that the world around him is full of stress and he is starting to have emotional and physical issues because of it. Then he outlined all of his signs of stress—getting angry and irritable easily, feeling upset, worrying constantly, feeling overwhelmed and finding it hard to cope at times. Do any of these resonate with you? There is a quote that says, "Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it." I find it humorous, but true. If you live in reality, it can be stressful because the reality is that the world we live in is full of stress.

According to a Gallup survey from adults in 22 countries, 41% of adults are experiencing stress. The highest is in the Middle East at 68% but the US is at 53%. 34% report that stress is completely overwhelming for them on most days. 21% of adults report experiencing forgetfulness; 20% report an inability to concentrate; and 17% report difficulty making decisions in the last month because of stress. So, the stress level is pervasive and the effect on leaders is debilitating.

By following my client around and observing his daily routines, I spotted some things that I believe are causing him stress. So, I began discussing some solutions with him.

I believe that the best way to beat stress is to be proactive. Rather than just learning to calm yourself down after stress hits, how about preventing it from building up in the first place? To do this we must create structure, predictability and breathing room in our lives.

It begins with learning to keep only one list. We need to practice “capturing it later" and automating our repetitive things because it frees up memory. It isn’t just about being organized. It actively reduces our mental fatigue by offloading a bunch of details from our brain to established and reliable systems.

An important part of it is allowing white space in our schedule and realizing that white space is as important as the scheduled work. We need to learn to intentionally leave buffers in our schedules. Productivity is not about filling every moment. It is about leaving mental and logistical room to absorb the unexpected without getting stressed and overwhelmed.

One of the most important things we can do as executives to reduce stress is to prepare the night before. We can do this by simply looking at our schedule the night before. We can even lay out our clothes for the next day. We can prepare our briefcase and write a to-do list for the next day. And it is always good to plan to arrive at the office at least 20 minutes before the day starts. The goal is to do what we can to start the day ahead rather than playing catch up all day.

Each day we should plan the day so that we are ten minutes early to each task or meeting. This makes calm our default and not just a lucky accident, but planned. In doing this we need to concentrate on planning only what matters. Only if it matters does it get a slot on the calendar. We can’t count on memory or leftover time to make something happen.

But occasionally we need to reset quickly. I have found that a walk (preferably in nature), music, reading, or even just deep breathing can give you a reset. When feeling stressed you cannot just push through—you need to reset.

We need to learn to not think about the same thing twice, set up recurring reminders and saved preferences. When we set up our repeats it takes the pressure off our memories and automates it. And, if we keep one list and use that list to track everything, we have less stress. Fewer lists means that less falls through the cracks and thus less stress.

In addition, we need to learn to capture it later by writing it down as soon as it pops into our head. If we try to remember everything in our head, it leads to pressure which causes stress. We should always keep some blocks of time open in our day. I call this leaving white space. It allows us to think better, flex when we need to, and find time to breathe, walk, read etc. when we need to.

Before beginning each day take time to pray, exercise, breathe, listen to music etc. and choose the three most important things that you need to accomplish each day.

And possibly the best suggestion is this: Sync your calendar with your team and family so that you can stay aligned. Fewer surprises mean fewer fire drills. And finally, we need to protect deep work. We should block one slot for a stretch of focus each day. Real progress beats scattered effort.

Scripture says: If you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desires of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as noon day. And the Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy your desire in scorched places and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. This may be more important than anything else. If our focus is serving others, we focus less on the stress of the world and we are filled up in the process.