A $0 Fix: How Choosing Kindness Adds Value to Your Company

I am working with an executive right now who thinks kindness in the workplace is a form of weakness. He is convinced that kindness establishes a “country club atmosphere” and it doesn’t belong in a well-run company. He said, “People will take advantage of that and then you will have total chaos.” He also said that it is something extra that people don’t expect.

We have a lot of work to do because I believe that kindness is not extra. It is what makes people stay, grow, and thrive. But then again, I believe in the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, KINDNESS, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.

The kindest leaders aren’t usually loud. But their impact echoes long after they have left the room. Last year, my grandson had a school conference, and my son and daughter-in-law attended as most parents do. Each student had a project, and the teacher had given them a list of eight things. She asked them to list one thing that they were very good at, one thing that they need a little work on, and one thing that they are really not good at.

Much to his parent’s dismay, he listed “Finds it difficult to make friends “ as something that he was not good at. When they asked the teacher about it she laughed and said, "I really don’t understand that. He always has other students around him—he is a very kind boy.” When they got home, they asked him if he felt like he had difficulty making friends and he said, "No, not really. When I looked at the list, I am good at everything on there, but the teacher made me pick something that I am not good at." No shortage of confidence, right? But the best news of the story is that he is kind to others because that will take him a long way.

I shadowed my client for two days looking for the following signs: A kind leader notices when you are not yourself. They might even say you seem a bit off your game today. Do you want to talk? They check in without being confrontational; without making it a big deal.

They also remember little things like birthdays, big deadlines, and tough weeks. They make you feel seen—even outside of work. They ask about your golf game, your fishing trips, your kid’s activities, your church activities, or your civic activities.

They share credit generously. Your name is always in the room, especially when you are not, and they never take the credit for your achievements. Unfortunately, this is a very common area to fall down in. Too many leaders take all the credit and place all the blame for errors on others. In its most extreme form, I see leaders with diagnosable narcissistic behavior.

Great leaders protect your time. They shield your focus like it is their own. They even say no to distractions on your behalf. They ask, "How can I help?” and they actually mean it. They always follow up and they themselves follow through. And they show up with real support, not just a bunch of empty words.

Kind leaders apologize often, without excuses. They do not have an ego that hinders them from doing this as often as necessary. There is no defensiveness and no excuses. They just say, "I was wrong. I am sorry.”

They actually celebrate your growth. They welcome it, encourage it and celebrate it. They open doors for you because they are not challenged by your success. They never hold you back. They are proud of your next chapter (even if it is not with them). I had many people leave my firm over the 36 years that I owned and operated it, and I really enjoyed seeing them grow and develop in the profession, even if it wasn’t with us. Many are long term friends and were valuable resources and referral sources after they left.

They always lead with questions not assumptions. They ask, “What do you think?” Every team member is treated like a partner and not a pawn. They defend you when you are not in the room, and your name is actually safe with them—they protect your reputation like their own. As a side note, if a person talks to you about someone else, you know that they also talk about you when you are not present. I wish that I could say that this is not common in today’s world.

After two days of shadowing my client, I had a lot of work to do. But as I thought about all of this, I am not surprised that the teacher was amused by my grandsons self-appraisal because he really is kind and he knows most of this stuff already!

But here is really the bottom line: Are you looking for short-term success or long-term success? You see, people will forget what you said. They will forget what you did. But they will never forget how you made them feel—good or bad. It is rather simple. If you made them feel good, that is kind leadership. It doesn’t just manage people, it moves them. And if I can get my client to buy into this concept, there is a lot of potential. And here is the best part: It costs nothing. Zero. Yet it produces great results.